My so called life

Yup, it's me, I'm still writing. After yesterday's enormity and rambling mess all put together I'm still confused.

Work has been interesting, as it always is, busy, as it usually is, I walked over a mile today playing photographer, fun and excercise, and well it is what it is.

I heard from my aunt a week or so ago, she's putting together a book with a biography of my Grandparents, which is awesome. I knew them well, but little of their early lives, and my daughters don't know them at all, except for a few stories. My oldest was about 4 months old when she saw my grandfather before he died and that's of course more than the other 2 have had a chance to see. I'd love to share my love of that great, giant of a man with my girls, grandma's still around, but I don't know when or if we'd have a chance to see her again, so getting to know her through any means would be awesome.

I haven't called my parents in a while, my little brother is injured and has been having money problems since he can't work and there are issues with his workers comp claim, and they want me to help. I've done so several times, more than I can afford, and it always puts me in a tight place with my creditors for the rest of the month. I don't begrudge him the help, I've made it clear many times I don't loan money to family, but I'm more than happy to give it if I can, and even if I can't, if I can rearrange things to cover it, I will.

I feel confused, lost, and like things are too much, too fast, and out of control, and I need to reclaim control before I will feel ready to move forward with my life. I'm getting comfortable though, and that scares me too. I'm happy and content being alone. Occasionally lonely, but good most of the time...